For today’s Scattered thoughts: My thoughts on being in solitude and silence>>>

This last weekend my wife left on a work related trip to New Orleans for the weekend. Now at first I was thinking that I was going to make all these plans to fill my weekend (didn’t happen), then I thought I would enjoy and get some reading done (not so much), then I thought I’d get some exercise in (are you kidding me). So early early early friday morning I take Jami to the Ontario airport, say goodbyes and make my drive back to temecula. This was the worst drive ever. 4 in the morning and there was just nothing driving back. Now Usually I enjoy driving by myself, I find it relaxing. But for some reason my head started to think of all the worst possible scenarios. Thats when I needed a timeout. I got home and just crashed for a few hours before work. Friday was just a drag.

Which now brings me to the real topic. That feeling I got when I was driving back home was the feeling of being alone. I was affraid to be in solitude and most importantly I was affraid to be still in the silence. As I reflected on my weekend of nothingness I began to think about all of the moment I had to enter into God. It was as if I kept telling myself there was more time, later, later, later.  And now the weekend is over.

Silence is frightening because it strips us as nothing else does, throwing us upon the stark realities of our life.”
-Dallas Willard, “The Spirit of the Disciplines”

I have been entangled in this culture. I am addicted to noise!

Solitude teaches us that we do not need other people in the way that we usually think we need them. It teaches us that our value is not determined by our usefulness to others

…..

I am finding out that I need to be more disciplined. I need to enter into something bigger than myself and it starts with my willingness to enter into Silence and Solitude. Despite my fear I recognize the importance of entering into the depths.