For this weeks Scattered Thoughts:
In light of thanksgiving, which was full of everything imaginable, I am coming to some new process of thankfulness. I know it sounds cliche but tis the season. Much of what I am have made myself accustomed to is the idea that I am working for something. I have a job, I do that job well (very well in my book), I get paid, so therefore I am thankful. I should also add, I can pay bills on time somewhat.
What if I had nothing? What if I lost my job today? (I hate to play the What if game but I’ll indulge just this once) How would I be thankful?
For me its hard to just simplify my thoughts to think/say, “well I’m alive, thats something to be thankful for” or “I have it better than 95% of the world, so hey you should be thankful”
What a western thought that is? Its too shallow for me (thats how I feel) to simplify my thoughts and what I say in that way.
So where am I going with this?
Well God is pushing me around a bit here. Drawing me to take in my own circumstances, the circumstances of others and where he is wanting to lead…. <<<<<<<< This is what I am thankful for…. I’ve just be debunked. He never fails to produce his redirection…
So… I know he provides for me, I am thankful. I know he leads me, I am thankful. I know that he has made me to be type of person to make the right decision (still a process), I am thankful. Not everything is about me, I am thankful.
My Goal is not to be thankful in everything… I couldn’t do that, not honestly. But I’m learning to be thankful in the change. The change of life, thought, relationship, and most importantly the world that surrounds me.
Still processing this…. much more scattered than I thought..
so here’s what I’m thinking, in case anyone’s interested.
I think that if we can learn to just ‘be thankful’, that is enough. Not thankful that this, or for that. Because this and that can change immediately, but just a state of thankfulness. What does that mean? What does it look like? I’m not sure, but I know what it doesn’t look like – if that makes sense?
I’m really not into the thankful to God because of this or that – because it turns God into a carrot dangler – which I can’t believe he is. For who he is, ok. For what he’s done, ok. For ‘blessings’, I don’t know man… maybe I’ve gone too far in that direction as a result of experiencing some bad theology? eh – I’m on a journey.