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Monday’s Scattered Thoughts

2 Dec

For this weeks Scattered Thoughts:

In light of thanksgiving, which was full of everything imaginable, I am coming to some new process of thankfulness. I know it sounds cliche but tis the season. Much of what I am have made myself accustomed to is the idea that I am working for something. I have a job, I do that job well (very well in my book), I get paid, so therefore I am thankful.  I should also add, I can pay bills on time somewhat.

What if I had nothing? What if I lost my job today?  (I hate to play the What if game but I’ll indulge just  this once) How would I be thankful?

For me its hard to just simplify my thoughts to think/say, “well I’m alive, thats something to be thankful for” or “I have it better than 95% of the world, so hey you should be thankful”

What a western thought that is? Its too shallow for me (thats how I feel) to simplify my thoughts and what I say in that way.

So where am I going with this?

Well God is pushing me around a bit here. Drawing me to take in my own circumstances, the circumstances of others and where he is wanting to lead…. <<<<<<<< This is what I am thankful for…. I’ve just be debunked. He never fails to produce his redirection…

So… I know he provides for me, I am thankful. I know he leads me, I am thankful. I know that he has made me to be type of person to make the right decision (still a process), I am thankful. Not everything is about me, I am thankful.

My Goal is not to be thankful in everything… I couldn’t do that, not honestly. But I’m learning to be thankful in the change. The change of life, thought, relationship, and most importantly the world that surrounds me.

Still processing this…. much more scattered than I thought..

Life Together

22 Nov

There are a few books that I like to read each year. Books that have a lot in them and that challenge me to look at things differently every time I open them. This morning I breezed through, Life Together by Diedrich Bonhoeffer, once again. I love this book. Yet the more I read this book the more I am challeneged by it. Not as an individual but as a part of a communuity

Much of what the book represents is Community Living, hence “life together”, brotherhood. One of the key features is his emphasis on the Centrality of Chirst, coming together and worshiping in unison. This always causes a pause in my reading….. think about it…. Do we know why we meet each week? Do we know its purpose? and most of all, are we accomplishing that purpose? Some good questions to ask and to answer in a group… For me, corporately speaking, Gifts aren’t being used (my own included), communication is a lost cause, and quality is measured in amount of seats you fill. There is a lot more but those are the ones I reflect on the most.

“will remain sound and healthy only where it does not form itself into a movement, an order, a society, a collegium pietatis, but rather where it understands itself as being a part of the one, holy, catholic, Christian Church. . .”

I love this book for its approach to community. There are a few things that I feel it lacks or over emphasizes way too much but strongly recommended.

Books I’m Reading…

9 Sep

So I haven’t been this most committed of readers lately but I’m pushing through and trying to add quality stuff along the way.

Here’s the list.

Part one of the Divine Comedy – The Inferno by Dante Alighieri

Not an easy read in the least bit. But the imagery and dialogue, amazing.

The Church by Donald Bloesche

Excellent book! I don’t find that he writes anything new or profound but puts things into an easier language to understand. I have his whole theology collection. Great reread!

Love In The Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

So far so good! A great Classic. Highly Recommended

Much needed Reminder!

20 Aug

Again for the thousandth time, something has gotten off the path… and then I reread this little diddy:

A quote from Reaching Out, by Henri Nouwen:

How do we know that we are not deluding ourselves, that we are not selecting those words that best fit our passions, that we are not just listening to the voice of our own imagination?…Who can determine if [our] feelings and insights are leading [us] in the right direction?

Our God is greater than our own heart and mind, and too easily we are tempted to make our heart’s desires and our mind’s speculations into the will of God. Therefore, we need a guide, a director, a counselor who helps us to distinguish between the voice of God and all other voices coming from our own confusion or from dark powers far beyond our control.

We need someone who encourages us when we are tempted to give it all up, to forget it all, to just walk away in despair. We need someone who discourages us when we move too rashly in unclear directions or hurry proudly to a nebulous goal. We need someone who can suggest to us when to read and when to be silent, which words to reflect upon and what to do when silence creates much fear and little peace.

Simple, reflective, and just a good reminder.

Real Community

17 Jul

I just read a really cool article at Building Church Leaders website. It talked about what kind of groundwork that is needed for real/authentic community.

I have never been one to fully extend outside of my comfort zone but I remember when I was working as a Youth Director at a church in Bellflower, California , we would have a friday night service for the community. At this service we would invite them to come and listen to a message and then walk through our food closet. Most of them, to be honest, just wanted the food. To sit through a small service was nothing. But I do remember, each time, when someones life was touched. How did I know? Well they showed up on Sunday in the best clothes that they had. “How amazing”, I thought to myself. These people want more; More hope, more love, more…God.

It’s never just about serving the poor/homeless, the needy, the disenfranchised. It’s about inviting them into the community. I think we have the ability to do amazing things if we but break down our walls. We say we want to be branches or Jesus’ hands extended but we never are willing to lead people in. We keep our hands extended and thats as far it goes. Its funny to think that Salvation/Redemption is just an arms lenght away. (Crazy thought)

It challenges me to be more authentic and to share my story/God story.

How might we be able to more effective in reaching out our arms to the community?

How might we bring all people into right community?

We were born to unite with our fellow men, and to join in community with the human race.

- Cicero

Bands I like!

1 Jul

For todays Bands I like, I would like to introduce you to KALAI. Hawaiian born and Alaskan raised this fusion of blues and acid jazz. But to put into his own terms Urban Vintage. I love that. I came across this guy as I was looking up hawaiian artist. You should defintely give this guy a listen. If you are not into it than shame on you. J/K.

Check it out!

Kalai – On My Mind

Kalai – She

Kalai – Fish Hook, but they blend it perfectly into Both Sides.

I have his latest two albums. And they are always good listens.

Enjoy

Monday’s Scattered Thoughts

19 May


Today’s Scattered Thoughts is something I have been thinking about for a while now. Four the better part of the last 3 or 4 years I have had quite an assortment of jobs. None of which I felt really connected to. You know those jobs that pay the bills but you know you hate doing it. Or you just feel no fullfillment. Well that has been me in past few years. But I am coming to a sort of crossroads in my thoughts, that it’s not so much what I do to make money, it is the other things outside of that time (work time) that I am not doing (i.e. teaching, reading, exercising, learning, ect.). I dream job would be to do Spiritual Formation for a church/Marriage and Family Therapy. And when I get older I’d like to be a professor. Anywho I realized that with the vast years ahead of me my outlook needed a little tweak. The question I had to ask myself was, What are you doing now to do the things you want to? How are you going to get to that place? Well there is not really an answer for now, but a new/fresh perspective to move forward. So what have I done thus far? Well I am volunteering at church, nothing large but get myself plugged in and perhaps challenge myself in new roles. Also I have commited myself(I’m not very discplined in this area) to getting back into shape both physically and intellectually.
I am encouraged by the fact that I don’t have it all together right now nor have I found the perfect plan of action but it is progression from yesterday and the day before that and so on and so on and so on….

What do you do find meaning in your life? What feeds your soul?

Monday’s Scattered Thoughts

19 May


Today’s Scattered Thoughts is something I have been thinking about for a while now. Four the better part of the last 3 or 4 years I have had quite an assortment of jobs. None of which I felt really connected to. You know those jobs that pay the bills but you know you hate doing it. Or you just feel no fullfillment. Well that has been me in past few years. But I am coming to a sort of crossroads in my thoughts, that it’s not so much what I do to make money, it is the other things outside of that time (work time) that I am not doing (i.e. teaching, reading, exercising, learning, ect.). I dream job would be to do Spiritual Formation for a church/Marriage and Family Therapy. And when I get older I’d like to be a professor. Anywho I realized that with the vast years ahead of me my outlook needed a little tweak. The question I had to ask myself was, What are you doing now to do the things you want to? How are you going to get to that place? Well there is not really an answer for now, but a new/fresh perspective to move forward. So what have I done thus far? Well I am volunteering at church, nothing large but get myself plugged in and perhaps challenge myself in new roles. Also I have commited myself(I’m not very discplined in this area) to getting back into shape both physically and intellectually.
I am encouraged by the fact that I don’t have it all together right now nor have I found the perfect plan of action but it is progression from yesterday and the day before that and so on and so on and so on….

What do you do find meaning in your life? What feeds your soul?

Things Happen…

11 Apr


I’ve never been a person who gets easily flustered/frustrated. I suppose for a large part of my life I have lived out of a controlled chaos (if thats even plausible). So that when things happen that are beyond my control occur I can addresss it and move on appropriately. For the better part of 5 years I have lived in this chaotic whim. WHY? Partly because I feed off of it. Is it healthy? For now in this time I don’t see it as harmful but if it is fostered further it can be what I call “Nothing good ever happens to me” Syndrome. It could lead me to a vicious cycle of sabotoge wherein I could no longer operate a healthy lifestyle.
I have never been one to blame God either. I came to an understanding years ago that things happen outside the intended will of God. If everything that happen was God’s doing, then we might as well call him, Freddy Krueger (Got that one from Rybarczyk). That doesn’t mean that God cannot find Glory in whatever trial or fault of mine/anyone elses. Simply put, I”m just trying to figure shtuff out!

Finding Inspiration

27 Mar


I have always had this dream…. that someday I would be this great song writer/muscian. I don’t really feel like a have that great of a voice so that was never part of the dream to sing but ehhh.
I first started playing the guitar about 3 years ago out of a crazy whim, also there was only one other person to lead worship for my Youth group, so I wanted to help. So at first it was exciting, I was playing everyday 2 or 3 hours just trying to master certain chords. It continued like that until I finished college.
Now I have always been a writer. I love to write. I wouldn’t say that I am exceptional at it but I can hold my own. So within those first two years I felt like I was writing and playing, creative juices were flowing. But now I just can seem to find that edge, that appeal of melodies/words… I try to find inspiration in different types of music, artist that I respect lyrically/muscianship but I feel so unmotivated.
Perhaps it is just a stage… and I will find my niche again, somehow, somewhere…

How/where do you find your inspiriation?

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